Monday, April 17, 2006

More Food Worship??

I ran into this little guy on my way downtown last Friday night. He was just sitting there by the side of the walk, so I thought I'd try to get a picture. As soon as I knelt down, he came right over and checked out the camera to see if it was edible. I had to move it back a little to get this picture. He came right up to my shoe but lost interest when he found out that I wasn't actually going to feed him.

I guess it really wasn't fair. He was doing all this posing for me, and I didn't have any food to give him. I guess that's the breaks when you go out panhandling.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Food Worship in the United States

I knew Americans were getting overweight and even obese, but worshipping produce? This is a couple of miles beyond silly and over there with the UFO nuts and the alien abductees. Look, God is communicating with me through my tomato! I mean doesn't he know how to dial a phone or something?

Are we supposed to look for concealed messages from God whenever we eat any fruit or vegetables. What about pasta? Is angel hair pasta some kind of mysterious message from the heavens? Who can repair my alphabet soup if the messages from God aren't coming through by the letters in my bowl? Do I need to take it to a priest and have it blessed or something? Did the person with the sacred tomato win the lottery the next day? I bet they did. So many questions, so few answers. --gk

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I Guess I'm the April Fool!

Science, or at least some cartoon animals, have finally discovered what makes relationships so darn difficult. I leave you to ponder the following.

Of course there is some hope for those of us with overactive imaginations or delusions of adequacy. We can just develop a relationship with an entirely imaginary person and redo mistakes until we get them to come out right.

Next year on Valentines Day I'm going to ask women to be my imaginary girlfriends. That way I can have as many as I want without having to worry about all the entanglements or remembering the their names and buying them gifts on their birthdays and stuff like that.